Category: Grits

… coming direct to you from the Department of WTF, in the Ministry Of You Can’t Be Making This Shit Up If You Tried, is the latest and greatest in Grit shitskullery. And you gotta believe me boys and girls, when I tell you that this one even caught me with my pants down! 😯

Seriously, it really, really did. And I’m a guy that wouldn’t put it past a liberal to dip his pecker in iodine and wank with number 2 sandpaper because he read someplace that it would be a good idea!

Of all the Stupid Pet Tricksâ„¢ that the Librano$ have been trying to pull lately, this one has simply GOT to take the cake. It’s just so… I mean that…

Aw, screw it. Read for yourselves…

OTTAWA–Liberals will attempt to turn the tables Thursday on rival parties who’ve ridiculed them for being afraid of toppling the minority Conservative government.

They’ll introduce a motion condemning the NDP and Bloc Quebecois for defeating the previous Grit government in November 2005, thereby enabling Stephen Harper’s Tories to win power.

The motion slams the Harper government for setting back women’s equality rights by cancelling such Liberal measures as the Court Challenges Program and a national child care program.

And it concludes by resolving that the House of Commons “condemn the irresponsible and self-serving actions on Nov. 25, 2005, by the New Democratic Party and the Bloc Quebecois which led to the installation of a government that is hostile to the rights and needs of vulnerable Canadians.”

Yup, that’s right. The HypoGrits are thinking that they can pretend to represent Canadians by introducing a non-confidence motion against… er… the rest of the Opposition.

And these dorks actually wonder why the hell nobody wants them running the country again????

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s episode, where Steffy slams Jack and Gilles in the House by tabling a motion to have them both declared “a couple of big doodie-heads®.”

Stay tuned. 🙄

I’m a happy conservative/Conservative today. Yup, I am indeed. Sure, it’s a kind of naughty, Schadenfreude sort of happy but I’ll take it anyway.

It seems that our man in charge in Ottawa, Steve, has finally had-it-up-to-wherever with the lyin’-ass HypoGrits slinging bullshit in their little drive-by smears. The kind that they try so hard to trump up every time they get collectively emasculated in the Commons (or lately, in their little Liberal-dominated, Senate sandbox, as well) by the Tories.

And guess what, boys & girls? This shit’s gettin’ reeeeaaall old.

I’m sure you all know the pattern that I’m talking about. It goes something like this:

1. The Tories put forth a bill that, while good for Canadians, isn’t in line with the failed Grit Trudeaupian ideology.
2. Dion threatens to bring down the government over the bill.
3. Steve calls their bluff by whipping out his medicine ball-sized nuts and using them to pound Steffy into the ground like a tent peg.
4. Steve’s Little Bitch® and his gang do as they’re told and let the legislation pass.
5. Joe and Jane Canuck start to notice that the Liebrals have nothing to offer anyone: no ideas, no policies, no principles, no leadership, nothing.
6. Desperate to change the channel, the Librano$ make up a scandal and hope like hell that if they can just throw enough bullshit, some of it will stick. To someone. Somewhere. Anywhere. Just not them.
7. Nothing becomes of the “scandal.”
8. Rinse, repeat.

It’s turned into a pattern of events so predictable that Helen Keller could see it coming. It’s also a pattern of events that’s about to show the Grits just exactly where it is that ol’ Steve’s Bullshit-o-meterâ„¢ redlines.

The latest round of this little liberal circle jerk is being labelled “Cadscam.” To make a long story short, the Liebrals are trying to accuse Harper of bribing the late Chuck Cadman and saying that his widow backs them up (she doesn’t). In other words, the Grits are so damned desperate for some Adscam® payback, that they’re willing to drag a dead man through the mud.

Steve has had enough of their bullshit. Time to put up or shut up:

“The prime minister is not only suing the Liberal leader, he’s suing the deputy leader, Michael Ignatieff; Ralph Goodale, who is the House leader; and the Liberal Party of Canada,” Fife said.

“Mr. Harper’s notice of libel says they’ve accused him of knowing about Conservative bribery in the Cadman affair,” he said.

• Read the notice of libel here (.pdf)

Harper said the allegations, made outside the House of Commons and on the Liberal party’s website, are false and misleading. He is asking for an immediate retraction, Fife said.

The notice asks for two allegedly defamatory articles to be removed from the liberal.ca website and provides wording for an apology to be read out by Dion in the House of Commons. The notice requests the apology be given in English and French.

If the Liberals don’t provide an apology, the Conservatives want the Liberals to preserve all records and email traffic, Fife said.

Translation: No more free punches. Read more here, here, here and here. Steffy, as usual, is pretending to come out swinging:

OTTAWA — Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion will not apologize to Prime Minister Stephen Harper over the Chuck Cadman affair despite the threat of a libel lawsuit, the Liberal Party says.

See the pattern described above. 🙄 Seriously, is there anybody in this country that doesn’t think that Dion’s going to do exactly what he always does: roll over, sit, and do as he’s told?

Go back home to your nice, safe, little university, Steffy. This is the real world, and politics is a contact sport.

This is rich. It seems that the Freeps has gotten it into their collective melons that the “Liberals risk [a] reputation for inaction.”

Well, DUH! Welcome to the party, boys and girls; what the hell took you so long? After all, it’s not like this has ever been heard before now, is it? 🙄 Hell, even Jumpin’ Jack Jerkweed®™ and his No Damned Principles® bunch have figured out what the rest of the country has known for months: If balls were muscle, Dion and the HypoGrits couldn’t knock a hole in the wind with a fistful o’ hammers…

Answering a budget question in the House of Commons, for instance, Harper said, “When (Dion) comes and makes ferocious attacks on a budget that he has every intention of allowing to pass, he simply has no credibility.”

Meanwhile, NDP deputy leader Thomas Mulcair said: “Mr. Dion is just going to sit on his hands once again. They have no credibility. They’ve got an extraordinarily weak leader, indecisive.”

No shit, Sherlock? Figure that out all by yourself, did you? Michael Den Tandt made he observation in the Edmonton Sun just a few days ago that “this PM struggles with ‘nice.’ He’d much rather drag the Liberal leader onto the parliamentary lawn and give him noogies until he cries.” (Best line I’ve read in weeks, BTW) Well, I think we’re a little past noogies at this point. Way past it. Everybody keeps saying that HMPM Harper is drooling for an election, that he wants to score a majority.

I disagree.

Why the hell would Steve want to trigger an election to get a majority government? He already has a majority government. Because Stephane is Steve’s little bitch.

Who needs an election? Steve can just keep on cruising until the mandate runs out, and hand Dion’s ass to him then. Why hurry?

And hey, while we’re at it (since everybody else has been posting this, and since it really is that damned funny):

…or else STFU, already!

There are some days when I almost feel sorry for ol’ Stephanie Dion.

Okay, you caught me; I can’t say that with a straight face. The fact of the matter is that I never feel sorry for citoyen Dion, mainly because most of the crap he finds himself in is usually of his own creation. And, as of today, it’s really official: Dion is up to his ankles in shit, but he’s in head-first…

The minority Conservative government has turned up the heat, announcing it will introduce a motion by Friday on extending the mission, with a vote on the matter in late March.

The move appears designed to ensure one of two outcomes this spring: parliamentary approval to extend the mission indefinitely, or a federal election on the issue.

But Liberal Leader Stephen Dion isn’t budging on his position that the combat component of the mission must end on schedule next February, with Canadian troops remaining in Afghanistan to help with reconstruction and training of Afghan security forces.

He emerged from a caucus meeting Wednesday saying he’s not afraid of an election and it’s up to Prime Minister Stephen Harper to compromise.

“I’m never afraid of anything,” Dion said when asked if he’s prepared to trigger an election over the issue.

Well, pardon us all to hell Steffy, if none of us are impressed. We’ve heard all this before, you see: Dion huffs and puffs and threatens to blow Steve’s house down and then, when the crunch time rolls around, the HypoGrits in the House vote with their arses. Every time.

Dion said the Liberals will offer amendments to the government motion, to bring it in line with the Grit position.

I wouldn’t bet the farm on that, Steffy. In case you hadn’t noticed, this is one government (minority or not) that takes a pretty damned dim view of having legislation watered down to uselessness, and Afghanistan is something that HMPM Harper is dead serious about. The Tory ducks are pretty much in a row over this issue. Grits have been all over the map.

But this isn’t the only kick in the nuts that Dion’s lined up for, is it? Nope, it’s not…

The Tories are stepping up their fight to pass their omnibus crime bill.

Bill C-2, the Tackling Violent Crime Act, which consists of five bills dealing with violent crimes, dangerous offenders, and the age of sexual consent, passed the House of Commons in late November, just before a Christmas break that ended in late January. Now, the Conservatives say they may make the proposed act a confidence matter if the Liberal-controlled Senate doesn’t pass the bill this month.

“When it comes to protecting children, when it comes to mandatory jail terms for people who commit crimes with firearms, when it comes to labeling people as dangerous offenders … we have legislation that will accomplish that and the Senate appears to be holding it up,” Minister of Public Safety Stockwell Day told CTV Newsnet’s Mike Duffy Live.

Justice Minister Rob Nicholson told the Senate committee on legal affairs that it should pass the bill in February. If that doesn’t happen, he said he would tell Prime Minister Stephen Harper that the bill is a confidence measure and let him deal with it appropriately.

“We say to Liberal senators, and we say to (Liberal Leader) Stephane Dion, tell your Liberal colleagues to push this through,” said Day.

In other words: you’re not running the government anymore! So knock off this pissant screwing around, do the right thing, and get the damned legislation passed! If you don’t, we’ll damned well ram it up your sorry collective asses… and John Q. Canuck’ll help us do it.

So go ahead and get yourself a stiffy, Steffy. Give us an election. PLEASE. Either way, your bullshit stalling is running out of wiggle room.

I just can’t believe this one.  Really, I mean it.  Those of you that come here with any frequency know and I’m no fan of Stephie “no relation“ Dion, his policies, or anything else having to do with him but I’ve always managed to keep myself in the “no, he can’t really be as stupid as people say,” camp.

Until now.

It’s one thing to step on your dick.  You don’t need to be a politician, either; we’ve all done it at one time or another.  It’s just part of the human experience.  Stephie, however, seems bound and determined to tap-dance on his own pecker.

No sooner had HM Minister of Finance Jim Flaherty announced that us hard-working Canucks will finally be getting some long-awaited tax relief than Stephie Greener-Than-Thou-Except-When-We’ll-Get-Clobbered-At-The-Polls yurped up his Greatest Hairball Ever™ on the lobby rug.  Not only that, but he managed to do it with an arrogance that was absolutely… er, well… Liberal:

Dion also said if he were elected he would consider rescinding GST cuts promised by the Conservatives in Tuesday’s mini budget.

The Grit leader said many people believe the two percentage point cut to the goods and services tax was the wrong move. He said it amounts to $34 billion that the govenrment could spend elsewhere.

He then promptly flings open the other side of his yap to tell us how the Liebrals won’t be voting against the mini-budget, even though it’s Bad For Canada® (which is Gritspeak for “it’s conservative”).  And why are the Librano$ so willing to let this oh, so Bad For Canada® nasty thing get by the House, you ask?  Why, for the good of Canada, of course: 😕

“Yes, we will be abstaining for the good sake of Canada. It is not a good declaration. It is not sending the country a good direction,” Dion told reporters after a caucus meeting Wednesday.

“We are the party of compassion, the party of Kelowna for aboriginals, the party that wants to put the fight against poverty at the core of agenda. We want to invest in Canadians and families, seniors, in regions, and there is no good balance in this declaration of the minister of finance about investing in Canadians and tax cuts.” [Translation: “Screw Canada; we aren’t doing Jack Shit that might risk us going to the polls until we’re sure we can win and get our fingers back in your pockets again.  Don’t you realize there are ad execs in Quebec that can’t even afford Grey Poupon anymore, now that we aren’t around?”]

Think about that: “that the government could spend elsewhere.”  My gawd, haven’t these assholes learned ANYthing???  Have they actually managed to forget that the main reason they got turfed in the first place nearly two years ago was because the rest of us were sick and God damned tired of the way the federal Grits were throwing OUR money around??

That’s right, Stephie: our money.  Not yours,

OURS!!

But you sonsofbitches clearly still don’t get that, do you?

Enjoy your time in the political wilderness.  Get comfortable.  You’re going to be there a while.

Yeah, there’s been plenty of cutlery broken out for poor li’l Steffie Deedles lately, some Liebral and some not, but the sharpest fork stuck in his flip-flopping backside seems to have come from, of all palces… Owen Sound, Ontario.

Owen Sound Sun Times edotor Michael Den Tandt managed to sum up, in no uncertain terms, exactly what pretty much the whole damned country is thinking about Citoyen Dion these days. While I normally tend to shy away from kicking someone when they’re down, this bugger really did ask for it, and Den Tandt delivers with both barrels:

Stick a fork in Dion – he’s done

Posted By michael den tandt

Stephane Dion, welcome to Hell. You will be a resident of Hell for several months, perhaps six. During that time Prime Minister Stephen Harper will take you apart in little pieces, like a mean boy pulling the wings off a fly. When it’s over there will be an election, which you will lose.

Far from appreciating your effort and sacrifice, the Liberal Party will drag you kicking and screaming into a scrubby field. There it will dispatch you cleanly and quickly – with Michael Ignatieff standing by, murmuring messages of encouragement and condolence. Ignatieff will take your job. You will retire to a modest pension in the south of France, where you will sit in a patch of sunlight, a blanket over your knees, dreaming of what might have been.

Farfetched? Not so much.

In the aftermath of the Liberal leader’s decision to prop up the Harper government for another few months, there’s been much talk in party circles of how very clever it all was. “He is a very capable individual, who maneuvered through deep waters,” was how Huron-Bruce Liberal MP Paul Steckle phrased it.

To hear them talk, it’s almost as though Harper fell into Dion’s trap. On one side we have the wicked Stephen Harper, scheming to engineer an election that “Canadians don’t want.” On the other we have a newly savvy Stephane Dion, who has a few tricks up his sleeve, thank you very much. It’s as though the Liberals are saying: See, we can be sneaky and opportunistic too, just like Harper. What’s so special about him?

Only in dreamland can anyone suggest this episode connotes anything but desperation on Dion’s part. According to multiple reports from within the Liberal Party, he wanted to go to the polls. How could he not? In recent weeks he’d laid down a string of unshakable conditions for keeping this government alive. The most important of these was a hard date of February, 2009 for an end to Canada’s military mission in Afghanistan. Harper stared at that line, eyeballed Dion, eyeballed the line, then hopped right across it with a big smirk on his face.

Dion’s first instinct was to fight. But he couldn’t. His caucus wouldn’t let him. They know that if they go to the voters this fall, many of them will lose their $178,000-a-year jobs. In Quebec the Liberals are imploding. In Ontario, where you’d think Dion would have had a little more currency because of his national unity credentials, he’s gained none. Out West he had none to begin with.

Here’s the poison: The decision to pan the throne speech virtually in its entirety, then concoct a grab-bag of exquisitely nuanced excuses for passing it, feeds directly into Dion’s greatest political liability – the perception that he’s weak. In chess they call this a fork. Move one way, you lose your rook. Move the other way, you lose your queen. Either way you lose. Dion is well and truly forked.

In Quebec, some voters dislike him because of a perception that he is arrogant, aloof and out of touch with ordinary folk. He speaks like a Frenchman – a testament to his French mother. But that doesn’t play well in the Saguenay. Other Quebecers tar him, unfairly, as a traitor, because of his authorship of the Clarity Act. Still others continue to mistrust the Liberals because of the sponsorship scandal.

In Ontario Dion began with a reputation as a smart, honest and hardworking minister. Despite his gawkiness and heavily accented English, he was known as a man of conviction. Journalists who remembered his fight with Quebec separatists in the 1990s referred to him as having a “spine of steel.”

Then came the Harper strategy, taken directly from the Brian Mulroney play book, of seeking a majority through Quebec. First Harper learned to speak French better than any other recent prime minister, including the francophone Jean Chretien. Then he declared Quebec a “nation.” Then he struck a back-room alliance with Mario Dumont’s soft-nationalist, centre-right Action Democratique. Taken together, it worked.

This put the Liberals in severe need of a wedge issue for Quebec. They seized on the most obvious one, the Afghan mission. Polls showed Quebecers overwhelmingly opposed the deployment. Overnight the Liberals, who conceived and launched the mission, transformed themselves into its harshest critics. Trouble is, that hasn’t worked. Liberal fortunes in Quebec have only worsened. Has anyone in the Liberal brain trust considered that some Quebecers’ interest in and support for the mission may actually increase because the Valcartier, Que.-based Vandoos are over there now? It doesn’t seem so.

Meantime the various Liberal flip-flops on Afghanistan have sewn confusion in Ontario and in the West. Dion says one thing, Foreign affairs critic Bob Rae says another, Defence Critic Denis Coderre says something else. Do they want our troops to stay and finish what they began or do they want to pull them out? Nobody knows. In Dion’s speech to Parliament Wednesday he came up with yet another nuance: An extended mission focused on training Afghan security forces would be “acceptable.” Um, Stephane, that’s what the mission is focused on now. Does this mean you support it again?

Dion has made his choice. He now faces an endless succession of confidence votes. In each case Harper will press legislation inimical to Liberal principles and dare Dion to call him out. With each new concession Harper will look stronger and Dion weaker. If Dion pulls the trigger, he loses. If he waits, he loses. In effect Stephen Harper has just maneuvered himself into a majority in all but name.

That makes Dion many things. Unlucky? Doomed? You be the judge. Savvy, in my view, doesn’t make the list.

Michael Den Tandt is editor of the Sun Times in Owen Sound and a national affairs columnist for Osprey Media. Contact mdentandt@thesuntimes.ca