Category: Canada

[PARENTAL ADVISORY: While I do try to do my best to tone myself down to make this site at least somewhat family-friendly, the following post contains the kind of language that you probably don’t want your kids to read. And lots of it.]

Well, as if we didn’t already have enough reasons to lose faith in our country’s balls-challenged “justice system” (there’s a fucking oxymoron for ya), the London courthouse’s Resident Retard®, “Jackoff” Jack Carrol has gone and fucked up again.

For those of you not familiar with this black-robed bag of shit, he’s the dickhead that gave Ahmed Moalin Mohamed the keys to the revolving jailhouse door after he shot four people last Thanksgiving weekend. Nobody knows where the fuck that asshole is now. Yeah, that shithead.

So, what did this overpaid, walking sack of maggot jism do this time?

Why, he did what he does best, of course: letting criminal shitbags stroll out of the courthouse for no fucking reason! This time it was some little 16-year-old shit with 17 previous criminal convictions — five for not following court orders and two drug-related offences — that got his little pat on the head from Carrol before he strolled off and promptly robbed a gas station with a knife. Naturally, we’re not allowed to know who this little fuck is; thank you ever so fucking much, Chretien.

Yup, that’s right. You’d think that having Moalin-Mohamed go bye-bye on him would have smartened this shitskulled waste of my hard-earned tax dollars up, but nnnnoooooooo….. He’s just as big a fucking idiot as he ever was. Even London’s top cop, Chief Murray Faulkner is pissed as shit at this jerkoff and is thinking about bitching to the Ontario Justices of the Peace Review Council.

What’s possibly the worst of all this bullshit is just why he decided to spring this little bastard on the rest of us. This little son of a bitch got his get out of jail free card because Carrol got himself into a snit because the Crown Attorney was running late.

Without a bail hearing, a surety or reasons, a 16-year-old was released from custody May 15, just hours after his arrest, because justice of the peace Jack Carroll was irritated the Crown was late for court. Only a week later, the teen became the main suspect in a knife-point robbery of a gas bar last weekend.

[…]

He was taken to court that day but when Carroll opened proceedings, there was no prosecutor to handle the case. Carroll asked that one be paged.

Shortly after that, he told the clerk to tell the Crown’s office he would be “releasing everybody . . . if the Crown does not show up.”

Why can I never be making this shit up? Just once? Our judicial system is fucked up enough without having some cocksucker like Carrol sitting on the bench, acting like a petulant little brat!

DO US ALL A FAVOUR AND GET THE FUCK OFF THE BENCH, YOU WORTHLESS BAG OF WEASEL SHIT!!!

I’d like to start off today by thanking both Artur Pawlowski and the Calgary Sun’s Licia Corbella for their help in putting this post together; I couldn’t have done it without ’em. I managed to speak briefly with Mr. Pawlowski from his home in Calgary and I have to tell you, he’s one of the nicest folks I’ve talked to in quite a while.

You might recall from two of my previous posts that Art is the guy who was arrested and jailed in Calgary back in August of last year for reading the Bible and praying in a public park.

Let me say that again: Arrested. And jailed. For praying. In Canada.

I Am Not Making This Upâ„¢.

I said yesterday that I was going to try to find the video footage of Art’s arrest, so I figured “who better to ask than… well, Art?” So, after getting ahold of a number for him, I gave him a call. While he didn’t have the footage in a digital format himself, he was able to direct me to the page for Paul Arthur’s show, Insight, at www.miraclechannel.ca (which you can check out yourself here) where I was able to download one of the shows that features a clip from the footage that Art’s brother shot the day he got busted. It’s a fairly long vid (about an hour) and the footage from the arrest only runs from 8:38 to 9:32 but on the whole, the whole vid is worth watching (you can download it to your hard drive here, if you like)…
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Now this is really, really… really unfair.

Here I am, pushing 40 and it’s starting to push back. One of the few things that a guy like me gets out of turning that age is an unfettered license to grump and grumble about things like “kids these days, [insert cratchety rant here].”

It’s something we look forward to; we finally get to take all those lectures that we had to sit through from our own elders and inflict them on the next generation. The best thing about getting old older is being able to complain about how stupid the kids are these days.

But just how the hell are we supposed to do that when some kid pops up and pulls a stunt like this?

(Editor’s note: The following is an open letter to Premier Dalton McGuinty from 14-year-old Timmins teen Jesse Fontaine.)

I am a home-schooled Christian, living in Timmins. I am currently completing Grade 8, have an interest in politics and last year won the Short Story Category at The Daily Press Literary Awards.

My interest in politics is based on the fact that it is my generation that will have to take care of our world after your generation passes the torch on to us.

I am extremely concerned about the message that your “FLICK OFF” environmental campaign sends to us as young citizens of Ontario.

Rex Murphy was doing a piece on it when I first became aware of the “FLICK OFF” program.

My family and I thought it was a joke set up by “This Hour Has 22 Minutes” or some other similar group.

When we realized it was actually a government of Ontario endorsed program I was shocked and appalled that the government of Ontario would think they needed to relate such a vulgar term to young people in order to have them recognize environmental issues. It truly saddened me and I asked my parents why the government would think that.

They told me I should ask you.

I have seen our Ontario Government’s Environmental website, then we visited the “flickoff.org” website and saw the intentionally modified font, meant to ensure that the people of Ontario and the world for that matter, saw it as vulgarity that would normally be unacceptable.

I observed that the links on the website such as “ARE WE FLICKED,” “WHO NEEDS TO FLICK OFF,” and “GO FLICK YOURSELF” convey a message that I, for one and many others, would not associate with a need to conserve energy.

The “NATIONAL FLICK FEST” left the same impression of our current government with me as did the “FLICK OFF” video – not good.

From my parents, to David Suzuki, Discovery Channel and the other more intelligent sources of information available, I already understand the importance of energy conservation.

I have attended Queen’s Park as a part of my home-school studies and have an elementary understanding of the process in which the provincial government functions. Based on that knowledge I cannot understand why you, as our premier, or one of your other ministers did not stop this stupidity before it was launched. Can you explain that to me please?

There must be a better way to relay the importance of conserving energy to young people without throwing our morals and values out the window to do so.

Regardless of what a person’s religious beliefs or values are, surely the majority of Ontario’s Canadians would not see the actions of your environment minister as wise or even as acceptable.

I am confident that the Canadian flag which currently flies from the flag pole that I set up in our yard, stands for a higher moral standard than those used by your Minister in establishing the method chosen to communicate with us in the “FLICK OFF” program.

I see now that corporations, such as Mac’s convenience stores, M&M Meats and Subway appear to be foolishly following the message of Ontario’s current government, which is that the best way to communicate with young people is through association with vulgarity. Today I saw a large poster in the window of Mac’s convenience store, it was posted under the Subway sign and depicted a Catholic nun on her knees reaching up to a glowing image of a froster cup with “WTF?” on it. There’s a lamb or goat kneeling beside the nun. There’s one at M&M Meats as well.

According to a Mac’s convenience stores representative, the “WTF” is supposed to stand for “WHAT’S THE FLAVOUR” but we all know that the “WTF” on the cup implies the vulgar phrase “WHAT THE FLICK” (I used “Flick” because I don’t use the “F” word that Mac’s, M&M Meats and Subway intentionally, or otherwise, represent with the “F” in the “WTF” so proudly posted at their stores.)

We all realize(at least I hope we all do) that if the message was meant to be “what’s the flavour?” the Nun and the goat/lamb worshipping the froster cup should not be required; the message is clear and I believe meant to be blasphemous.

I am shocked, embarrassed and angered that your cabinet, and now it appears Mac’s, M&M Meats and Subway; believe that the young people of Ontario are so utterly stupid that the only way to communicate with them is to use the “F” word or other vulgar phrases like that. Can you do two things for me please?

First I would like an answer from you explaining how the “FLICK OFF” campaign was permitted under your leadership. Did not even one member of your cabinet have the common sense to see that telling Ontario to “FLICK OFF” was a bad idea?

Secondly, will you please have the “FLICK OFF” program scrapped and removed from the Internet before more ad agencies come to believe that association with vulgarity is the best communication method for conveying messages to the young people of Canada.

Jesse Fontaine,

Timmins

So much for “how stupid the kids have gotten.” Thanks for wreckin’ that for me, Jesse. Couldn’t have waited a few years, could ya? Guess I’ll have to settle for black socks and sandals… 😕 (tip o’ the toque to AITGWN)

Dang, but this one took quite a while to come around, didn’t it? Some of you might remember me piping up waaayy back last August about a guy out in Cowtown by the name of Artur Pawlowski, after he got the cuffed-and-stuffed treatment from the Calgary cops for the unpardonable crime of… wait for it… reading the Bible in public.

No, I’m not making that up.

Now, before you go asking and bleating “how do we know he wasn’t accosting people,” bear this in mind:

On August 16, Artur Pawlowski was arrested for sharing the Gospel with tarot card readers at the Fringe Festival in Calgary. Pawlowski told these practisers of “sorcery” that the Bible condemns these practices. Organizers of the festival asked him not to talk to the vendors and he agreed. But when he stayed in the park praying and reading the Bible, the organizers called police. The police arrested Pawlowski for obstruction and he was taken in a police car in handcuffs. He was also charged with trespassing and causing a disturbance. Amazingly, Pawlowski’s brother videotaped the entire sequence of events.

Well, it has come around now and it looks like the video was rather… ahem… uncomplimentary. Both to the cops who busted Pawlowski and to the credibility of those who complained about him in the first place:

It was clear Pawlowski, his friends and family were jubilant criminal charges of obstruction of justice, resisting arrest and refusing to assist a public/peace officer had been wiped off the docket.

But the people who should be most relieved are the police officers who arrested him last Aug. 16 on 17th Ave. S.W. for reading from the Bible aloud near the Fringe Festival.

Had this case gone to trial, the judge would have seen evidence — a video taken by a Pawlowski supporter — that would have thrown the officers’ reputations into total disrepute.

Case toally dismissed. And before anybody even bothers asking, yes I am going to try and get a copy of that video. Stay tuned.

Ah, Toronto, the one true unifying principle common to all Canadians from Saint John’s to Lotusland, everybody hates that city. It’s not hard to figure out why, either, what with all that Centre Of The Universe® and whatnot else. Sometimes I think that all the TO jokes will run out of gas sooner ot later. Then something like this happens.

You have to admit, Torontonians have done their damnedest to elevate NIMBY to an artform. Dumping their trash is bad enough but I have to admit that even I didn’t see this one coming..

TORONTO — If Toronto residents are ever ready for a red-light district, it should be located in Mississauga, says the head of Toronto’s licensing committee.

Coun. Howard Moscoe yesterday dismissed comments from fellow council member Giorgio Mammoliti, who raised the prospect of setting up a red-light district on the Toronto islands.

“I’m not sure Toronto is ready for a red-light district, thank you very much,” Moscoe said.

If that ever changed, Moscoe pegged Toronto’s neighbour to the west — Mississauga — as the place he’d like to see one established.

Translation (for the Torontonian-impaired):

Yeah, sure, whatever. Build all the whorehouses that it takes to get me some votes, just as long as it’s not in my neighbourhood.

And they wonder why the rest of us make fun of them. Dickheads… 🙄

Well now, isn’t this just tooooo cute? Anybody else out there remember all the hubbub and hullabaloo over those Canadian “spy coins” a few months ago? The ones that were supposed to be being used to track the movements, conversations, sexual preferences and video rental habits of American defence contractors.

Yeah, those coins.

Turns out that the explanation for that sturm und drang is a little — how can I put this diplomatically? — anticlimactic:

WASHINGTON — The surprise explanation behind the U.S. government’s sensational but false warnings about mysterious Canadian spy coins is the harmless poppy quarter, the world’s first colourized coin.

They were so unfamiliar to suspicious U.S. army contractors travelling in Canada that they filed confidential espionage accounts about them.

The worried contractors described the coins as “anomalous” and “filled with something man-made that looked like nano-technology,” said once-classified U.S. government reports and e-mails.

The 25-cent piece features the red image of a poppy inlaid over a maple leaf. The quarter is identical to coins described as suspicious by the contractors.

The supposed nano-technology actually was a conventional protective coating the Royal Canadian Mint applied to prevent the colour from rubbing off. The mint produced nearly 30 million such quarters in 2004 to commemorate Canada’s 117,000 war dead.

“It did not appear to be electronic (analog) in nature or have a power source,” wrote one U.S. contractor, who discovered the coin in the cup holder of a rental car. “Under high-power microscope, it appeared to be complex, consisting of several layers of clear but different material, with a wire-like mesh suspended on top.”

The accounts led to a sensational warning from the U.S. Defence Security Service, an agency of the Defence Department.

[…]

Meanwhile, in Canada, senior intelligence officials expressed annoyance with the U.S. spy-coin warnings as they tried to learn more about the oddball claims.

Seriously, guys, just what the hell were ya thinking???