Archive for: October 2006

They say that nobody’s perfect, and I guess this kinda proves that old adage out. Anybody with their cranium clear of their colon already knows that I’m quite the fan of Stephen Harper. I like the idea of having someone in charge who a) does what he said he would do and b) doesn’t steep himself headfirst in a bunch of namby-pamby, feelgood bullcrap whilst actually doing nothing about anything the way the Grits did for over a decade. But it must have been baked beans and chili dogs for ol’ Steve’s intellectual lunch the other day because, as brainfarts go, this one could peel the paint off the walls:

VANCOUVER — Prime Minister Stephen Harper is calling on the United Nations to impose sanctions against North Korea for its purported nuclear test.

Harper condemned the test blast and said the UN must make a “a meaningful and substantial response.”

Where the hell did that come from? This is the kind of wussese that I would expect out of the Librano$, or maybe the Dippers, but I expect better from Harper. This is the guy who stood up in the Gerneral Assembly in New York not that long ago and declared the very relevance of the UN was being tested and has, at times, vaguely hinted that he understands that the UN is long past any useful purpose and that it’s days are irrevocably numbered.

Let’s face it: the UN never accomplishes anything. It was useless in Bosnia, useless in Somalia, useless in Rwanda, and it’s useless in the Sudan. The last shred of respect that I had for that organisation vanished when it put Libya in charge of human rights. Maybe Harper hasn’t forgotten any of this and he’s giving them one last chance to prove their worth. I hope that’s it; I really do. But just in case I’m wrong and just in case Harper somehow (though I can’t imagine how) doesn’t really get it, I’m going to put it into terms so damned simple that anyone could figure it out (even me):

SATURDAY MORNINGS AND WORLD AFFAIRS
-OR-
Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From The Hitman

Okay, here we go. Think back to when you were a kid. Remember watchin rasslin’ on Saturdays? No, I don’t mean wrestling. Wrestling is an olympic sport. I’m talking about the figure-four leglock, the flying elbow smash and heads rammed into turnbuckles. Are ya with me now? Good.

Now, think back to those Saturday mornings when you used to watch the greats of the day stride into the squared circle. Back to the days when good guys like Rick “Quick-Draw McGraw, the Boogie-Woogie Man and Dusty Rhodes used to keep the world safe from scumbags like the Iron Sheik, Ted “The Million Dollar Man” Dibiase and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine while other guys like Rowdy Roddy Piper would just kick the crap out of whoever happened to be handy at the time. Still with me? Cool.

My favourites were always the tag-team matches. Whenever one of those was on the card you knew there would be some good mayhem someplace before the show was done. My all-time favourites would have to be the Hart Foundation, with Mike Rotundo & Barry Windham a close second.

The matches always followed the same formula, but we watched them anyway (hey, we were young; give us a break). It would go, with a few little variations here and there, something like this:

Good guy A would be in the ring, pounding the crap out of bad guy A (or B) so hard that his grandkids were going to be born dizzy. The bad guys’ manager (because bad guys always had managers) would then pull some stunt while the ref wasn’t looking, usually a cheap shot, to get good guy A off-balance for a few seconds. Good guy B would holler at the ref to do something about it and the ref would go over and demand an explanation from the manager, who would shrug with a “what, me?” look on his face while bad guys A and B would drag good guy A over to their corner behind the ref’s back and proceed to double-team the crap out of him. This would go on until good guy B finally lost his cool and jumped into the ring to help his buddy, at which point the ref would suddenly finish with being distracted by the evil manager and jump over, grab good guy B and herd him back to his own corner while good guy A was still getting stomped by bad guy A, bad guy B and the manager across the ring. No matter how much the crowd would scream and point, the ref never managed to look the right way and catch the skulldiggery that was going on just a few feet away and it was always the good guy that got admonished for jumping in when he wasn’t supposed to.

What the heck does all this have to do with world affairs, you ask?

It’s simple: the UN is the ref.

This is disturbing. I haven’t bothered spouting off about this before because, while any shooting is disturbing, they tend to be more of interest to locals than anyone else. But this just got broader. A lot broader. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to find yourself wondering just what the hell kind of clowns are in charge of security at Canada’s largest airport.

For those who haven’t heard yet, there was a shooting in downtown London, Ontario at about 3am last Saturday, October 7. The incident ended with four people, including innocent bystanders, sent to hospital with gunshot wounds but, thankfully, no fatalities. As bad as that is, it’s not the worst. It now turns out that the shooter, Ahmed Moalin-Mohamed (of NO FIXED ADDRESS, no less; remember that part) was, as the Freeps put it, “recently employed as a security guard at Pearson International Airport.”

A spokesperson with the Greater Toronto Airport Authority confirmed Moalin-Mohamed was recently employed by a private company contracted to provide security at Pearson.

He had a pass from Transport Canada allowing him access to restricted areas, said Scott Armstrong, and his duties could have included screening passengers and bags.

Why, for God’s sakes, can I never be making this shit up? The Freeps, however, being the nice little media outlet that they are, quickly move to distract from the real issue:

In another intriguing twist, police believe the weapon used to injure four men was stolen in Lansing, Mich., on Sept. 4 and smuggled across the U.S.-Canada border.

Nice, huh? Nothing like a little thinly veiled accusation flung at the Yanks to distract from the real issue, right? Nice try, bozos, but I’m not biting. The real issue is this:

Just how the hell, in a post-9/11 world, did a guy with no fixed address, a guy with “Mohamed” in his name, no less (go ahead, accuse me of profiling; I don’t give a damn), get granted access to restricted areas of an international airport?

War is an ugly thing but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which they are willing to fight, nothing which is more important than their own personal safety is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than themselves.
– John Stuart Mill

Just what the hell is wrong with some people? We live in an allegedly enlightened and educated society but nonetheless, some people still insist on making the most assinine assumptions possible. And among the worst are the bunch that try to make “apples and oranges” comparisons in order to justify their gutless stances, especially the avoid-war-at-any-cost crowd. The one that seems to be making the rounds the most lately (in my neck of the woods, at least) is the old “kicked over a bees’ nest” analogy. We’ve “kicked over a bees’ nest” in Iraq (Americans). We’ve “kicked over a bees’ nest” in Afghanistan (Canucks). We’ve “kicked over a bees’ nest” with Iran/DPRK/Danish cartoons. We’ve kicked over a bees’ nest, we’ve kicked over a bees’ nest, we’ve kicked over a bees’ nest, we’ve kicked over a bees’ nest, we’ve kicked over a bees’ nest, we’ve kicked over a bees’ nest… Every damned time I turn around, it seems like some lummox is punting some poor, innocent entomological commune and it’s (you guessed it) gettin’ on my nerves.

Where the hell did this come from all of a sudden, you ask? Well, it all started over my cup o’ joe this morning when I cracked my daily Freeps (why the hell do I keep doing that?). I have a habit of turning to the opinion pages first (yeah, yeah, BIG surprise, I know) and as I did so today, lo and behold, there was this asshattery:

Lessons of bee attack apply to Afghanistan

When I was a kid, I knocked down a bee’s nest with a stick, unaware that bees will defend their nest with unequalled ferocity.

After knocking down their nest, I was immediately attacked by a swarm of bees that I attempted to beat off with my cap. Despite killing some of the bees, they were relentless and undeterred by the death of many members of their colony. After suffering some stings and realizing these bees would never quit their attack, I decided to cut and run rather than die from bee stings. Hence the lesson is leave their nests alone and they will leave you alone.

This lesson, which I learned as a kid, applies equally to the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. If we invade their territory, they will defend it with equal ferocity to those bees.

Therefore, we have the choice of staying and being stung to death or to cut and run and save a lot of lives.

Just leave these folks alone and they will leave us alone.

Robert W. Stewart

London

If anybody’s wondering what the low-level seismic activity near Perth is, no, the Scots haven’t tested a nuke. It’s this guy’s namesake spinning in his grave. Where the hell do I start dismantling this little ramshackle sanctimony shack? Well, I guess the beginning is always a good place to start.

When I was a kid, I never knocked down a bees’ nest, but I did carelessly end up stumbling over a nest of ground wasps once; a big one, too. Nasty buggers, those things are, and unlike bees, they can sting more than once (seems they lack the bees’ bothersome barbed bum). And yes, like little Bobby above, I made like a chicken and got the cluck outta Dodge. I ran home doing the usual 6-year old tears & ouchie thing, covered in stings and looking like a cross between… well, I don’t know really. But it was pretty ugly.

Oh, those mighty wasps! Sure showed the world who was in charge of that little patch of ground, didn’t they? Just one little problem with that line of thinking: As Mom was distracting me with fudge and dabbing vinegar on my collection of stings, Dad strolled out, tossed a bucket of gas on the nest, and you can pretty much guess what happened next. Thus came about the fall of the First Wasp Caliphate. Now, what I’d like to ask little Bobby, if I ever met him, is this: Sure, those wasps came out bold as brass but what do you think they would have done if, in their little bug brains, they had actually comprehended what they were getting themselves in for? Do you think they would have still swarmed out or do you think they would have stayed snug in their nest, praying to their little bug gods that that damn bumbling skyscraper that just kicked them square in the house would just keep on going to wherever the bughell it was headed in the first place?

Now, before anybody drops a log in their levis and starts whooping that I’m advocating nuking the world: I’m not (although, as Michael Coren pointed out recently, the idea of a controlled strike against Iran is not without merit). I grew up in the time when NATO and the Warsaw Pact had each other in their crosshairs and the thought of nuclear war, quite frankly, still scares the living shit out of me to this day. Must be because I’m sane. My point is that we, the West in general, have a bucket of gas. It’s just that the little Islamofascist wasps don’t believe that we’ll use it, so it’s not a deterrent at all, is it? Carrying a big stick means nothing if nobody thinks they’re going to get hit with it. Either way, nukes are dreadful things so we must deter by other means while it’s still plausable. If we get backed up against the wall, however…

Bobby says that his childhood lesson applies equally to the adult realities of Iraq and Afghanistan. Um, Bobby? Bees don’t fly planes into buildings, blow themselves up in marketplaces and nightclubs, behead hostages, etc, do they? I rather think that my lesson applies more: Terrorists, like those wasps, will do what they think they can get away with. The time may come when the most reasonable course is, in fact, to persue what James Wolfe called “a deterring and dreadful vengence.”

Bobby finishes off with the old “leave these folks alone and they will leave us alone” canard. Well, guess what? No, they are not going to just leave us alone. They will not stop until they have reached their global caliphate and reduced every non-Muslim on the planet to dhimmitude. No, this isn’t bigotry talking; I didn’t come up with this on my own, this is what they say themselves! They say it in their speeches, in their indoctrinational ceremonies, in their little Al-Jazeera press releases, and every other damn place that they get the chance to spout off from the safety of the midst of a compliant, if not complicit, population. The difference is that I take them at their word and Bobby doesn’t. These bozos aren’t going to mind their own business any more than Hitler was going to mind his.

Bobby and I do agree on one thing, though: don’t bug bees and the bees won’t bug you. That’s bees, Bobby; bees.

After recieving many requests from readers of this blog, I have now begun work on a series of pages dedicated to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country in the current Afghan War. This area, which I have chosen to call the Honour Roll (because I’m not creative enough to come up with anything better), can be accessed here or by simply clicking on the “Honour Roll” link on the lefthand sidebar of this page. This will likely cut into by rant time somewhat but I think it’s worth it and, judging by the email that i’ve been getting, many of you feel the same way.

The Honour Roll area will contain no political commentary and while user comments are welcomed, they must all be submitted directly to admin@rightcrazy.com in order to be posted. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but this is being done to prevent the kind of vandalism that has occurred on similar pages in the past.

The Honour Roll pages are not meant for judging whether the war is right or wrong or anything else; they are merely a show of respect of our brave men and women who have given their lives for us, such as:

Trooper Mark Andrew Wilson
Sgt. Craig Gillam
Cpl. Robert Mitchell
Pte. Josh Klukie
Pte. David Byers
Cpl. Shane Keating
Cpl. Keith Morley
Pte. Mark Graham
Sgt. Shane Stachnik
Warrant Officer Frank Robert Mellish
Pte. William Cushley
Warrant Officer Richard Francis Nolan
Cpl. David Braun
Cpl. Andrew Eykelenboom
Master Cpl. Jeffrey Walsh
Master Cpl. Raymond Arndt
Cpl. Christopher Reid
Sgt. Vaughan Ingram
Cpl. Bryce Keller
Pte. Kevin Dallaire
Cpl. Francisco Gomez
Cpl. Jason Warren
Cpl. Anthony Boneca
Capt. Nichola Goddard
Cpl. Matthew Dinning
Bombardier Myles Mansell
Lieut. William Turner
Cpl. Randy Payne
Pte. Robert Costall
Cpl. Paul Davis,
Master Cpl. Timothy Wilson
Pte. Braun Woodfield
Cpl. Jamie Murphy
Sgt. Robert Short
Cpl. Robbie Beerenfenger
Cpl. Ainsworth Dyer
Pte. Richard Green
Pte. Nathan Smith
Sgt. Marc Leger

I will be adding an entry or two per day, as I find the time. Hopefully, I won’t be losing any ground.

Well, well; will you just look at this? It seems that in spite of all the liberal media’s, hounding, coaching, weeping and wailing, pissing and moaning, doomsaying and God only knows what else about the alleged faltering will of the Canadian public over the mission in Afghanistan, most of us just don’t seem to be getting the message.

That’s right; just like before, yet another poll has showed that the Canadian stance toward securing clear victory in the Afghan War is hardening, not wavering. Yessiree, it seems that us simpletons of the Great Unwashed just can’t get our little heads around the fact that the best way to deal with a tyrannical regime like the Taliban is to just run away and hide and hope that someone else will take care of the problem (preferrably the Yanks, so that we can criticize them for their intolerance later).

Sometimes I almost like polls, especially when they look like this:

The Lefties went apeshit again this past week (I know, I know: insert yawn here), this time over rumours that the Tories were secretly plotting to draw up a bill that would (gasp!) protect the rights of churches and marriage commissioners from having to perform same-sex marriages. Never mind that these rumours were likely started by the paranoid, fearmongering usual suspects to begin with. As long as the “standing up for people’s rights” crowd has something over which they can jump up on their little pogo sticks of indignation and hop back and forth in front of the nearest TV cameras, everything’s good in Leftyland.

And then, when things were just going so nice and indignantly, along comes Winnepeg Sun columnist Tom Broadbeck with the audacity to point out that marriage commissioners have rights too. Just because you take on a public sector job does not mean that the secular Left suddenly owns your sorry ass. They still have a choice, and yes, it is their right to make it without fear of reprisals (like getting fired).
Oh, dear. What is this world coming to?