Now this is really, really… really unfair.

Here I am, pushing 40 and it’s starting to push back. One of the few things that a guy like me gets out of turning that age is an unfettered license to grump and grumble about things like “kids these days, [insert cratchety rant here].”

It’s something we look forward to; we finally get to take all those lectures that we had to sit through from our own elders and inflict them on the next generation. The best thing about getting old older is being able to complain about how stupid the kids are these days.

But just how the hell are we supposed to do that when some kid pops up and pulls a stunt like this?

(Editor’s note: The following is an open letter to Premier Dalton McGuinty from 14-year-old Timmins teen Jesse Fontaine.)

I am a home-schooled Christian, living in Timmins. I am currently completing Grade 8, have an interest in politics and last year won the Short Story Category at The Daily Press Literary Awards.

My interest in politics is based on the fact that it is my generation that will have to take care of our world after your generation passes the torch on to us.

I am extremely concerned about the message that your “FLICK OFF” environmental campaign sends to us as young citizens of Ontario.

Rex Murphy was doing a piece on it when I first became aware of the “FLICK OFF” program.

My family and I thought it was a joke set up by “This Hour Has 22 Minutes” or some other similar group.

When we realized it was actually a government of Ontario endorsed program I was shocked and appalled that the government of Ontario would think they needed to relate such a vulgar term to young people in order to have them recognize environmental issues. It truly saddened me and I asked my parents why the government would think that.

They told me I should ask you.

I have seen our Ontario Government’s Environmental website, then we visited the “flickoff.org” website and saw the intentionally modified font, meant to ensure that the people of Ontario and the world for that matter, saw it as vulgarity that would normally be unacceptable.

I observed that the links on the website such as “ARE WE FLICKED,” “WHO NEEDS TO FLICK OFF,” and “GO FLICK YOURSELF” convey a message that I, for one and many others, would not associate with a need to conserve energy.

The “NATIONAL FLICK FEST” left the same impression of our current government with me as did the “FLICK OFF” video – not good.

From my parents, to David Suzuki, Discovery Channel and the other more intelligent sources of information available, I already understand the importance of energy conservation.

I have attended Queen’s Park as a part of my home-school studies and have an elementary understanding of the process in which the provincial government functions. Based on that knowledge I cannot understand why you, as our premier, or one of your other ministers did not stop this stupidity before it was launched. Can you explain that to me please?

There must be a better way to relay the importance of conserving energy to young people without throwing our morals and values out the window to do so.

Regardless of what a person’s religious beliefs or values are, surely the majority of Ontario’s Canadians would not see the actions of your environment minister as wise or even as acceptable.

I am confident that the Canadian flag which currently flies from the flag pole that I set up in our yard, stands for a higher moral standard than those used by your Minister in establishing the method chosen to communicate with us in the “FLICK OFF” program.

I see now that corporations, such as Mac’s convenience stores, M&M Meats and Subway appear to be foolishly following the message of Ontario’s current government, which is that the best way to communicate with young people is through association with vulgarity. Today I saw a large poster in the window of Mac’s convenience store, it was posted under the Subway sign and depicted a Catholic nun on her knees reaching up to a glowing image of a froster cup with “WTF?” on it. There’s a lamb or goat kneeling beside the nun. There’s one at M&M Meats as well.

According to a Mac’s convenience stores representative, the “WTF” is supposed to stand for “WHAT’S THE FLAVOUR” but we all know that the “WTF” on the cup implies the vulgar phrase “WHAT THE FLICK” (I used “Flick” because I don’t use the “F” word that Mac’s, M&M Meats and Subway intentionally, or otherwise, represent with the “F” in the “WTF” so proudly posted at their stores.)

We all realize(at least I hope we all do) that if the message was meant to be “what’s the flavour?” the Nun and the goat/lamb worshipping the froster cup should not be required; the message is clear and I believe meant to be blasphemous.

I am shocked, embarrassed and angered that your cabinet, and now it appears Mac’s, M&M Meats and Subway; believe that the young people of Ontario are so utterly stupid that the only way to communicate with them is to use the “F” word or other vulgar phrases like that. Can you do two things for me please?

First I would like an answer from you explaining how the “FLICK OFF” campaign was permitted under your leadership. Did not even one member of your cabinet have the common sense to see that telling Ontario to “FLICK OFF” was a bad idea?

Secondly, will you please have the “FLICK OFF” program scrapped and removed from the Internet before more ad agencies come to believe that association with vulgarity is the best communication method for conveying messages to the young people of Canada.

Jesse Fontaine,

Timmins

So much for “how stupid the kids have gotten.” Thanks for wreckin’ that for me, Jesse. Couldn’t have waited a few years, could ya? Guess I’ll have to settle for black socks and sandals… 😕 (tip o’ the toque to AITGWN)

Dang, but this one took quite a while to come around, didn’t it? Some of you might remember me piping up waaayy back last August about a guy out in Cowtown by the name of Artur Pawlowski, after he got the cuffed-and-stuffed treatment from the Calgary cops for the unpardonable crime of… wait for it… reading the Bible in public.

No, I’m not making that up.

Now, before you go asking and bleating “how do we know he wasn’t accosting people,” bear this in mind:

On August 16, Artur Pawlowski was arrested for sharing the Gospel with tarot card readers at the Fringe Festival in Calgary. Pawlowski told these practisers of “sorcery” that the Bible condemns these practices. Organizers of the festival asked him not to talk to the vendors and he agreed. But when he stayed in the park praying and reading the Bible, the organizers called police. The police arrested Pawlowski for obstruction and he was taken in a police car in handcuffs. He was also charged with trespassing and causing a disturbance. Amazingly, Pawlowski’s brother videotaped the entire sequence of events.

Well, it has come around now and it looks like the video was rather… ahem… uncomplimentary. Both to the cops who busted Pawlowski and to the credibility of those who complained about him in the first place:

It was clear Pawlowski, his friends and family were jubilant criminal charges of obstruction of justice, resisting arrest and refusing to assist a public/peace officer had been wiped off the docket.

But the people who should be most relieved are the police officers who arrested him last Aug. 16 on 17th Ave. S.W. for reading from the Bible aloud near the Fringe Festival.

Had this case gone to trial, the judge would have seen evidence — a video taken by a Pawlowski supporter — that would have thrown the officers’ reputations into total disrepute.

Case toally dismissed. And before anybody even bothers asking, yes I am going to try and get a copy of that video. Stay tuned.

Holy crap. 😯 Yes, I know that this has not a bloody thing to do with politics, Canada, or any of the other things that I’m usually in the habit of going on and on about but still… Holy crap. 😯

Now, I know that the kangaroo is something of a national symbol in the Land o’ Oz — kind of like our beaver — but seriously, people, there is such a thing as too much being too much. This would be a good example of that, I think. It seems that there is a bit of a population problem with the little Skippies on the outskirts of Canberra…

The Defence Department wants to hire professional shooters to cull the kangaroos at two of its properties on the outskirts of Canberra, where some areas have as many as 450 kangaroos a square kilometre — the densest kangaroo population ever measured in the region.

That’s right: 450/Km²! For those of you that think a little old-school, like I do, that’s close to two ‘roos per acre. That’s one helluva lot o’ boomers and does. There’s so many of them that they’re starting to “eat through the grassy habitats of endangered species.”

Now, you’d think that when one animal becomes a problem like that — especially when, let’s face it, humans have contributed to the trouble by killing off predators — a cull would be a no-brainer. There’s too many of one species and they’re posing a danger to another. Cull the excess of the one and restore the balance.

Simple, right? Hell, to a conservationist like me, that’s just common sense. But common sense just doesn’t come very easily to the sanctimonious, busybody, “animal rights” crowd now, does it?

Under the plan, 3,200 of the common eastern grey kangaroos, which can grow as big as a human, will be shot by July.

But Mary Hayes, president of the animal rights group ACT Animal Liberation, warned that such an action would earn the local government an international reputation for cruelty.

“It is a very cruel, violent way to treat animals,” she said on Australian Broadcasting Corp. radio.

Pat O’Brien, an activist with the Queensland state Kangaroo Protection Coalition, rejected the government’s argument the kangaroos risked starvation if there is no cull.

“This is just an excuse to kill them,” he said.

Oh, EEK! Nasty men with guns just wanna have fun. Right. Let the argumentum ad hominem get into full swing. 🙄

The fact of the matter is that there are two kinds of animals: the eating and the eaten; AKA predators and prey. When a prey population grows unchecked by predation, they will breed and increase until they start to starve. Period.

So my question to the smartass little busybodies at the Kangaroo Protection Coalition, ACT Animal Liberation and other such bunches, is this:

How do you want them to die? Quick and relatively painless (a bullet) or slow and suffering (starvation)?

Because those are the choices you’ve got. Those are the ONLY choices you’ve got; whether you have the stomach for that fact or not. Neither reality nor natural law give a shit about your delicate sensitivities.

So, what’ll it be?

Okay, most folks that come here already know that I’m a firm supporter of firearm owners’ rights. No, I’m not a “gun nut” — well, okay, maybe just a little — but I’m one of those guys that enjoys a little relaxing time on the range and unlike the urbanite “eek!” crowd, I believe that the best way to deal with firearms is not to stick your head in the sand and hope Big Nannyâ„¢ will make it go away, but rather through proper education. This means taking the time to teach your kids — realistically, not hysterically 🙄 — just what guns are capable of and how to properly deal with them; especially proper gun safety. Which is one of the reasons I got my boy a little something for his graduation this spring (if his marks are good enough, that is; we’ll wait and see). Nothing fancy, mind you, but a nice little Cooey model 75 for a starter…

If anybody out there is thinking about a first rifle for a young boy (or a young girl, for that matter), this is just the kind of thing that you should be looking for. It’s just a .22, so it’s not too much gun for a kid. Single-shot, bolt-action means that the rifle needs to be reseated in the shoulder and carefully re-aimed every time you want to fire and the manual cocking after the round is chambered (my favourite feature on this weapon) provides a little extra insurance against the kind of carelessness that, let’s face it, kids can be susceptible to sometimes. You just can’t be too careful.

Buuuuttt…. That being said, every now and then it’s just plain fun to crank away at some serious, kick-ass, testosterone-induced, don’t-screw-with-this-bad-boy firepower. 😉 And it sometimes really bites my dingleberries that the Yanks are the ones that get to have all the fun in that department.

Some of you might remember R. Lee Ermy as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from the movie, Full Metal Jacket, or any one of his numerous other “cranky drill instructor from hell” roles. But hey, even the big bad Gunny needs a little relaxation every now and then, right? So how do you figure he does it? Well, the answer was to be found, of course, on YouTube. Seems he likes to go to Knob Creek, KY about twice a year… 😆

A little warning, though: this is a pretty big vid, so it might take some time to load…

Ah, Toronto, the one true unifying principle common to all Canadians from Saint John’s to Lotusland, everybody hates that city. It’s not hard to figure out why, either, what with all that Centre Of The Universe® and whatnot else. Sometimes I think that all the TO jokes will run out of gas sooner ot later. Then something like this happens.

You have to admit, Torontonians have done their damnedest to elevate NIMBY to an artform. Dumping their trash is bad enough but I have to admit that even I didn’t see this one coming..

TORONTO — If Toronto residents are ever ready for a red-light district, it should be located in Mississauga, says the head of Toronto’s licensing committee.

Coun. Howard Moscoe yesterday dismissed comments from fellow council member Giorgio Mammoliti, who raised the prospect of setting up a red-light district on the Toronto islands.

“I’m not sure Toronto is ready for a red-light district, thank you very much,” Moscoe said.

If that ever changed, Moscoe pegged Toronto’s neighbour to the west — Mississauga — as the place he’d like to see one established.

Translation (for the Torontonian-impaired):

Yeah, sure, whatever. Build all the whorehouses that it takes to get me some votes, just as long as it’s not in my neighbourhood.

And they wonder why the rest of us make fun of them. Dickheads… 🙄

It’s an inevitable and foreseeable consequence of the “tolerance” fetish that has infected Western society. Aberrant ideologies come with a price. Their adherents will tell you otherwise, but they’re lying. Either to you or to themselves, it makes no difference. Some willful self-deceptions simply cannot and will not be tolerated.

Which is why my most sincere compliments go out to the people in the jury pool in the state of Georgia who — in spite of all the cultural bombardment against being judgmental of “alternate lifestyles” — have proven themselves utterly incapable of such delusional bullshit and have loudly declared that WILLFUL STUPIDITY IS NO EXCUSE FOR KILLING A BABY:

ATLANTA — Vegan parents in Georgia were sentenced Wednesday to life in prison after their 6-week-old son died of malnutrition.

The baby, Crown Shakur, weighed only 3.5 pounds. He’d been fed mostly soy milk and apple juice. Vegans typically do not consume animal products.Defense lawyers say the first-time parents did the best they could for their son while adhering to the strict lifestyle of vegans. They said Sanders and Thomas did not realize the baby — who was born in a bathtub at their home — was in danger until minutes before he died in April of 2004.

Cases like this are enough to make me question my stance against capital punishment. As you can imagine, I have a great deal more to say about this. But this is the sixth draft of this post that I have written and it’s the only one that hasn’t degenerated into a diatribe saturated with the kind of language that I try to avoid (here, at least).

Maybe I’ll have more to say once I cool down. IF … I cool down…

Rest in peace, wee one; your troubles are over.